There are a couple of ways to rattle my cage and it seems like it is always Ma Bell that does it.  Granted, they no longer call it Southwestern Bell, Bell South, SBC or whatever the phone company has re-invented themselves as these days and I probably couldn’t care less.  The hubs and I cut the landline years ago and have relied solely on the cell phones.  But what really chaps my hide are the ridiculous phone books that are in our mail box every so often.  They’re such a waste of paper.

So I have to ask… how many of you still use the phone book? And if you do, why the heck aren’t you Googling?

Yeah, good luck getting rid of that stink.

Lately I just haven’t been into the property management side of my job.  Tenants and I aren’t getting along all that great and that gets depressing.   And what’s making it worse is that some of the applications we are getting in for our available properties, well, they literally stink.  They carry odors of massive cigarette smoke, sweat, B.O. and even sometimes chicken fat.  And yes, I judge the applicant when I get something that just doesn’t smell right.

For the most part, this is nothing new in our office. I used to breakdown into a fit of giggles when my beloved friend and co-worker, Jay Reasor, would spray Lysol down the hall after a stinky tenant would come in to pay rent.  I always knew something was up when I would hear the “chh-chhhh-chhhhhhhhhh” of the aerosol spray can that he would keep stocked at his desk drawer.  Unfortunately, Jay is no longer here and it’s the hilarious memories like this that linger. (RIP, my friend.)

However, I laughed hysterically and thought of Jay when I recently opened the dropbox in my office that secures our applications and rent payments.  Some clown in my office had placed a Royal Pine Tree car air freshener in that dropbox in an effort to rid the odoriferous submissions.  Sidenote: Considering that only myself and The Donald have a key to that dropbox, I think it’s safe to assume who left the obnoxious smelling tree thingy in there.   I mean it when I say it was obnoxious in it’s odor.  The cheap version of “freshness” was overpowering and not really in a good way, I’ve been smelling it for the last several weeks and it makes me gag.

Seriously, I can’t be the only Landlord/Property Manager out there that has this problem, am I?  Or should I just take a deep breath and go about the duties of my job?

Fresh off the heels of yesterday’s post…

Looking for employees is not one of my favorite things to do.  The first three months is all about the employee trying to impress me and show off what they can do.  Then when that wears thin and turns out that they can’t really do all the stuff they bragged that they could do, the next three months are me adjusting to what the person really is like.  It’s a two-way street as we both get to know each other’s true colors.  Then I spend another three months thinking I should have hired the other slick and shiny resume as I am already tired of the new employee’s crap.  Following that is three month’s of griping to The Donald that I think I made a mistake in hiring that person.  Then I try to wrap it all up by spending the final three months firing that person until they beat me to the punch and actually quit.  It’s like dating all over again. No wonder I don’t like trying to hire new employees.

So help me out.  Find me someone who won’t drive me crazy three months in, and someone who will stick it out.  I don’t ask for much, just some smarts and common sense, a helping of respect for my position, an eye for extreme detail, oh yeah and someone who doesn’t immediately think that they are a know-it-all at property management just because their parents owned some rental property when they were in 2nd and 3rd grade.

All kidding and sarcasm aside, Dizmang Properties is hiring for a couple of different positions in Springfield, Missouri.  I need some help because I want to focus on developing the Dizmang Properties School of Real Estate, sell some real estate and develop our Investor Services, as well as dabble in some other business ventures and projects that round out the Dizmang brand.  I will still have my hand in the overall management of the properties (afterall, I have those three months of training the new guy) because I have put a lot of blood, sweat and tears into it over the last eleven years.

This is where you can find the actual job posting.  But here were some of the postings that didn’t make the original cut, you know just for your entertainment.

My friend, Daniel Rothamel, is on the cusp of a ridiculously frivolous lawsuit.  Daniel is THE Real Estate Zebra, as he has branded his blog and himself on Twitter as this because of his love for real estate and his love for refereeing basketball games.  Hence, the Real Estate Zebra.  However, some unknown real estate marketing group out of Washington (more than 2,100 miles away from Daniel) is suing him for trademark infringement and for over $75,000 in damages because they claim that they had the idea first.  One of our mutual friends, Jay Thompson, wrote about it on his blog and I implore you to read it here as it explains all of the details.

I met Daniel in 2008 at a real estate conference in Orlando and then several times again since.  Needless to say, he is a friend and that is why I need to publish this post so that we can spread the word that extreme sue-happy intentions are not cool.  Oh and so we can also help out the zebra’s defense fund.  At the very least, show your support by liking the page on Facebook. #savethezebra

Meeting The Zebra in 2008

There are some specific decorations, embellishments or character touches added to a home that just happen to creep me out.

When we purchase a nasty ole rental that we’re getting ready to fix up, I usually do a clean sweep through the houses and remove of the superfluous crap that is just too tacky to leave before any demolition begins.  These items usually consist of ugly light fixtures that look like they belong in a haunted house, obnoxious flower printed light switch covers or yard trash imitations of plastic owls, deer, butterflies or kissing dutch kids.

So imagine my surprise when I found this doorbell cover during a final walk through of one of our final rehab projects.  I’m not sure if I missed it, or if it’s just our maintenance crew messing with me.  Considering the paint color behind the hideous doorbell cover is the new color (if you know properties of Dizmang, surely you recognize the Brazilian Tan color… it’s a staple in our company). I’m pretty sure that it’s just one of the circus animals I work with leaving it there to see how, when and if I will flip out over it.

Nonetheless… it’s got to go.  Now get back to work, clowns.

You would think that after 11 years of managing rental properties, I would learn to keep my mouth shut in dealing with Tenants.  News flash: I haven’t.  *kicking myself*

The story here is no big deal, but I told a Tenant (who is desperate to move out, but her lease isn’t up for awhile) that I might know of someone who could be interested in renting her place allowing her to get out.  As a favor to her, I would contact this person and see if they were interested.  However, just to prove the theory that no good deed goes unpunished, the Tenant will NOT stop calling me now.  I had to get stern with her today and say “Look, I’m sorry I have tried to help you out here. I told you I would call you if I knew something, but no news is well… exactly that… no news.”  I’m sure that one will probably come back to bite me in the butt later.

So  I wish I could just look in my Magic 8 ball and give you an answer.  But in the meantime, trust me I will call you if I know something.

Yes, I do actually have a Magic 8 ball in my desk drawer.  Sometimes a lease application approval needs a neutral third party opinion.

Every time I open WordPress, I find way too many half baked blog post drafts.  Currently there are 118 posts in the drafts section.  And it’s starting to get on my nerves.  You know what else gets on my nerves? When people say that they just don’t know what to write and that is the reason they don’t blog.

Therefore, I am dubbing the rest of this month as “No New Material” until I clean up what’s been cooking.

I’m scheduling these drafts out to publish post, so if they’re not done, then I’m screwed. Let’s hope I didn’t say something stupid. That is all.

I thought I had found a really good e-commerce solution for selling crap online with the Shopp Plugin.  I take that back, it’s not crap that I’m selling.  It’s digital downloads of the checklists, forms and letters we use in Real Estate and Property Management for the day job.

Boy was I ever wrong with thinking that Shopp plugin would be a good solution. I have never had a WordPress plugin frustrate me so much as the Shopp Plugin did.  They don’t even deserve the link juice, so if you’re interested in finding out more about them, then just Google their name.  Before I really dug into the plugin, I had even referred them to a good friend, who praised Shopp at a recent WordCamp type meeting.  And now, I am kind of kicking myself for suggesting it.  I am sure that Shopp is great for sales of tangible stuff, but using it for digital download sales… it’s no go.  And their online “help” desk (I use that term loosely) should be called online sarcasm desk.  A woman named Yvonne was so condescending when I reached out to them for help that ultimately she was the reason why I went looking for something else.

Don’t waste your $55 bucks on Shopp.  I HAVE FOUND SOMETHING BETTER!

WP eStore plugin is so easy to use that even non-coders and/or somewhat-coders (like myself) can easily use it.  I was up and running in less than a couple of hours and had already sold my first form.  Granted, the form sale was to The Donald himself, but at least it worked!  WP eStore was only $40 bucks and is well worth every penny.  Thank you Tips & Tricks HQ!  And so long overpriced-hard-to-work Shopp plugin and your insolent mod squad of a help desk.

So sad and pathetic that I love my blog but I have let a whole month go by without posting to it.  I even wrote and published a post for the REALTOR® Magazine Young Professionals Network (YPN) Lounge  last week about how to find that blogging inspiration recently.  But alas, you’re never an expert in your own backyard.

Here’s hoping that I don’t go another month… that is all.

I have no excuse for not keeping up with this blog, but here’s why it hasn’t been done:

I’ve spent my time online searching on how to uninstall/install a new dishwasher.  Yes, I did it myself.  How’s that for girl power?

My blood sugar levels are through the roof, I haven’t felt well in a while and I spend a lot of time sleeping. (36 out of 52 hours this last weekend alone.)

When I’m not sleeping, I am working.  Did you see the new getpaul web site launch? (It launched quietly at 4am one very early morning this last week.)  We are also working approximately 17 real estate transactions at the moment… plus all the property management and office staffing drama.  However, the staffing problem has been solved and I’m looking forward to announcing the Hoots we hired, once it’s official!

It’s stifling hot.  Yes, temperature-wise, but our A/C went out for 4 days and holding a hot computer on my lap wasn’t any fun.

It’s summer time. I am spending a lot of time with my adorable children. ‘Nuff said.